In the spirit of the season...

Everyone has those April Fools jokes that sound really funny in your head but turn out to be awkward and sometimes downright evil. Naturally, in my demented mind, I've come up with plenty of them. So just to make sure no one feels left out, I thought of one for pretty much everyone in my life. That was a lie. But I tried to get most people covered. Here goes:

To my Grandma Jane: "I've decided to worship Satan."

To my Grandpa: "I think your books on our family's geneology were misplaced in the move."

To my Aunt Susie and cousins: "I just saw on the news that the Girl Scouts headquarters was burned down."

To my Aunt Judy: "Your doctor called and told me to tell you that you're allergic to animals."

To my mother (any of these would do):
"I'm pregnant (and don't know who the father is)."
"I'm dropping out of school to follow my lifelong dream of becoming a human cannonball."
"I eloped. Sorry for not telling you."
"I'm going to buy a motorcycle."

To Bob: "I'm NOT going to buy a motorcycle."

To Ashley: "Yellow is out this season."

To Hunter: "Orange is actually IN season!!!" ....that's not even funny.

To Ashley and Hunter: "The Bar has been pushed back to September."

To Lisa: "The government is reinstating prohibition."

To the brothel: "We're going to have 'This n' That' for every meal til we move out."

To Mallory: "The universe has fully rejected the Republican party. Never to be seen again."

To Jason: "Craigslist has been shut down."

To Katie Sturni: "The state messed up..they're gonna have to take back your license...again."

To Locher: "Your Mac crashed...again."

To AK: "I found your flash drive."


Sometimes being a wee bit cruel is actually really funny. BUT...since i'm SUCH a loving, caring individual...I manage to restrain myself. You're welcome.

Happy April Fools Day!