Google THAT, Potential Employers

What do I do when I'm bored? I blog, feed my fish, pretend 20 seconds of crunches on the floor will give me washboard abs, shower, balance Tums on my tongue, paint my nails some horrid color, or Facebook stalk the heck out of people.

What do normal people do when they're bored? Some thing productive.

OR.

They Google themselves.

Ahh, yes. The art of Googling oneself is a frequent occurrence these days, thanks to the increasing amount that potential employers stalk their prey before interviews. So one day, I did it.

Among other things, listed were the fact that I (or people with my name) have profiles on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, that there is a decently popular photographer with my name, and that there is a Nancy Drew booked titled "The Search for Cindy Austin." You may have never heard of it but on cue I can tell you that it is book #88 and exactly what the cover looks like. You would be proud too.

But the champion of my self-Googled search page is the ever-alluring CindyAustin.com. I know there are people out there that have their blogs changes from johndoe.blogspot.com to just johndoe.com so I assumed I had won some sort of lottery. In a fury of excitement, I typed in this new address to find that the site wasn't exactly what I had been hoping for (my blog, that is).

Oh no. I advise you now not to click on said link because it turns out there is another Cindy Austin who has some acting aspirations. Mostly in adult themed movies. I didn't venture past the first page but I can assume there are a few things on the site that you shouldn't view while babysitting. You get the point.

This does not come as a surprise to me, however, as I have always stood by the fact that all people named Cindy are either in their 50's, prostitutes, or Asian. Or some strange mix of the three.

So let this be a declaration to all potential employers: I am not in my 50's, a prostitute, or Asian. And I am not the Cindy Austin of CindyAustin.com. If I come in for an interview and you have Marvin Gaye playing, expecting me to reveal more than my employment history, you will be poorly mistaken and very disappointed.

Long Live my Fish

I love my dog. I love lots of dogs. I don't love cats.

When I came to college I had to leave my darling black lab, Sugar, at home.

**What a charmer**

Anyways, when I left Sugar at home I bought Becks. The superman of all fish. Yes, he is just a blue fish with suicidal tendencies to some. But to me, he's my little responsibility. I take care of him and he loves me in return.

Which is why I write about him so much.

So begins another blog about Becks.

I've had Becks since the third week of my freshman year. AKA 2.5 years. Beta fish are usually 6 months- 1 year old when they're sold so dear Becks is at least 3 years old.

In about November I took one of my roommates to get a fish for her and found a very pretty red beta that I thought needed a home. So I bought him and named him Fez. Not after the guy on "That 70's Show" after the city in Morocco. Which I ironically extracted food poisoning from.

From that point on, Fez and I had a love/hate relationship dominated by hate. Turns out Fez does not like to eat. Ever. Never once have I seen him eat any of the food I gave him. I gave him pellets, I gave him flakes. I gave him bread. I gave him a little piece of chocolate once. What a waste of chocolate.

So, inevitably, Fez died. I came home after spring break (yes, I gave him a 7-day feeder) and he was dead at the bottom of his bowl. I wasn't sad. I was kind of waiting for him to die.

Yet another reason why Becks is a champion. He eats.

Good riddance, Fez.

Even this.

When I graduated high school my aunt gave me a book called "Leaves of Gold." It's a compilation of poems and quotes organized into feelings (i.e. love, tradgedy, hope). In this book I found my all-time favorite poem. It's no Shakespeare and it won't make your head spin trying to figure it out, but it's my fave. So I thought I'd share.

Even This Shall Pass Away

Once in Persia reigned a king,
Who upon his signet ring
Graved a maxim true and wise,
Which, if held before his eyes,
Gave him counsel at a glance
Fit for every change and chance.
Solemn words, and these are they,
“ Even this shall pass away.”

Trains of camels through the sand
Brought him gems from Samarcand;
Fleets of galleys through the seas
Brought him pearls to match with these;
But he counted not his gain
Treasures of the mine or main;
“ What is wealth?” the king would say;
“Even this shall pass away.”

'Mid the revels of his court,
At the zenith of his sport,
When the palms of all his guests
Burned with clapping at his jests,
He, amid his figs and wine,
Cried, “O loving friends of mine;
Pleasures come, but not to stay,
'Even this shall pass away.”

Lady, fairest ever seen,
Was the bride he crowned his queen.
Pillowed on his marriage bed,
Softly to his soul he said:
“Though no bridegroom ever pressed
Fairer bosom to his breast,
Mortal flesh must come to clay
Even this shall pass away.”

Fighting on a furious field,
Once a javelin pierced his shield;
Soldiers, with a loud lament,
Bore him bleeding to his tent.
Groaning from his tortured side,
“ Pain is hard to bear,” he cried;
“ But with patience, day by day,
Even this shall pass away.”

Towering in the public square,
Twenty cubits in the air,
Rose his statue, carved in stone.
Then the king, disguised, unknown,
Stood before his sculptured name,
Musing meekly: “What is fame?
Fame is but a slow decay,
Even this shall pass away.”

Struck with palsy, sore and old,
Waiting at the Gates of Gold,
Said he with his dying breath,
“ Life is done, but what is Death?”
Then, in answer to the king,
Fell a sunbeam on his ring,
Showing by a heavenly ray,
“ Even this shall pass away.”

- Theodore Tilton

FUDGE

The most incredible food ever?

Top five.

Turns out it's easy to make. Now while I love to bake and have been called Betty Crocker by my roommates, I'm actually quite horrible at mixing anything other than eggs, oil and pre-made brownie mix. So when I decided to make fudge it was quite an undertaking.

UNTIL...

I found this recipe:

1-can of sweetened condensed milk

1-package of chocolate chips

Microwave that sucker for 2 minutes and cool in a pan for a few hours.

Try it. I dare you. Mix in some marshmallow fluff if you're feeling dangerous.

Who knows, Duffluff may be the next Rachael Ray.

Political Polly

A darling lifelong friend of mine has just started a blog about her political views, seeing as the healthcare bill is well on its way toward materializing. My hopes were that with her new blog she would keep her political views off Facebook, but alas, no progress.

If you're easily infuriated or remotely liberal, you may want to avoid it. Otherwise, she actually knows what she's talking about.

www.malloryhanville.wordpress.com

Chasing Waldo

As you all know, I'm going to Southeast Asia this summer! Naturally, it's all I can think about these days and plans are gradually coming into place.

In a perfect world I would grace every inch of the earth before I die but that's unlikely. I've made a map though to chart out where I've been, where I'm going this summer and where I MUST go before I die.

Red is where I've been already.

USA, Mexico, Canada, Bahamas, Spain, Wales, England, France, Morocco, Costa Rica

Blue is where I'm going this summer.

Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Thailand, Japan

Green is where I need to go before I die. Or get married.

Israel, Argentina (or somewhere in South America), Australia, South Africa, India

No Gay Zone

If you haven't heard about the high school in Mississippi that canceled prom instead of letting a lesbian student wear a tux and bring her girlfriend, you need to read this:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/11/mississippi-prom-canceled_n_494555.html

As you can imagine, I have a number of problems with this. I'll keep it short.

1- You really think it would be worse to have a gay couple there than cancel it completely?

2- Students are mad at this girl because "she got their prom canceled." It's not her fault! She wanted to go! Guess if she can't go, no one should be able to.

3- No one would even notice if they went. Half the people are probably drunk. The other half would think it was a joke to have a girl in a tux.

I'll leave it at that. But they're giving the south a real bad name.

Destination Unknown

When people ask what my blog is about I tell them it's anything that happens in my life that strikes an urge in me to write.

The truth is, for the most part I spend my life going to school, hanging out with my roommates, and sitting on my bed playing with fake fish on Facebook.

But when I think of the things I'm most passionate about I think I've boiled them down to 6 things that really evoke strong emotions in me.

1. Traveling. Go figure right? While half of me loves to wear my Duke sweatshirt and a messy bun all day everyday, the other half likes to think of the most bizarre places and cultures and then throw myself into them. The problem is, I think I'm addicted. And I plan on feeding said addiction for as long as possible.

2. The brothel. Or the group of girls I am affiliated with via a crazy process called sorority rush. Also known as the girls in my pledge class. Greek life has been labeled fake, crazy, a drunken mess, paying for your friends, and many other negative things. But ya know what...for this brunette wise ass with less than a perfect body that rarely drinks...it works. So all the haters need to find something else to judge cause there's something to the process and there's something to Greek life.

3. A capella music. At UGA we have three a capella groups and they're incredible. It gives me the warm and fuzzies to hear these people with raw talent belt it out.

4. Religion. Any religion. All religions. Crazy religions. These days I have a particular interest in the Bible, but that's mostly for the wrong reasons. Another blog for another day.

5. The lake. I love it. Not sure what else to say. There is no place I'd rather be at any given time than on a lake. The boat, the water, the dock, the sun. I'm getting tanner just thinking about it.

6. Human rights. In particular, you guessed it, gay rights. You've read my arguments and after taking this LGBT spirituality class I can make many more. I feel like I'm fully equipped to keep up my end of a debate over it and if you feel like testing that, I'm more than happy to change another mind. Just let it be known that bringing up the topic with me is the equivalent of opening up a can of whoopass. You've been warned.

Now all I have to do is find some path in my life where I can incorporate one of more of these things. And oh yea... make money.