A few minutes into our conversation she determined that she had a flat tire. Naturally I asked where she was, since we were headed to about the same place, and I told her I was half a mile away and we could handle it.
As I pulled into the parking spot behind her, it was pretty evident that the tire was, in fact, flat. Now Bob likes cars and while I can't fix a transmission or replace a headlight, I've been known to jump cars and fill up my own windshield wiper fluid (extremely impressive and difficult, I know.) Point being, I've not exactly well versed, but I've been around cars a decent amount.
So I tell Elizabeth to get the jack out of the back of the car, I lay down on the pavement and start to jack it up. Naturally, the little photojournalist herself decided she needed to document my efforts.
A bit later a man and his college-aged son pull up next to us and ask if we need help. We say we're alright but they insist and proceed to take over.
Now as a disclaimer, they were both very nice and helpful.
But when they referred to us as "damsels in distress" I about choked, and had to place my hand over my mouth to keep any unkind words from escaping. We were not in distress, and anyone you ask will tell you I am far from a damsel.
At one point the older man said, "You know what's really phenomenal? You managed to get the jack in the right place!"
Blank stare.
So while they were helpful and kind, this brought about an issue that I've been discussing with my friends and family for the past few weeks: gender discrimination.
I have said in conversations over the past weeks that I have never felt hindered by my gender. My parents always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be, whether that was a dog or the president. I could do it. My mom never made us learn to cook because she didn't want us to think that we had to learn because we were girls. We were never interested, so we didn't learn.
My sisters are an attorney and an accountant/professor. And it never crossed my mind that, being women, they shouldn't be in those positions.
After thinking about it, a couple moments of gender discrimination in my life came to mind.
The summer after my junior year of high school I went to a mission trip to Gulfport, Miss. One day, while working with three other boys to drywall a house that had been damaged during Katrina, I experienced an instance of discrimination.
One of the twenty-something volunteers in our group held one end of a 12-foot piece of drywall, and I held the other. We walked it across the living room, but before putting it down on the ground to then drill it in place, the floor needed to be cleared. Two other boys were standing in the room with us, waiting for us to put down the piece to drill. Basically, they were doing nothing.
The guy on the other end of the drywall looked at me and said, "This needs to be cleared- grab the broom and sweep it up."
I was doing the same job he was. I was holding half the weight of the drywall. The other two boys were doing NOTHING. And I was supposed to do the sweeping?
I opened my mouth and took a deep breath, but before I could say what was really on my mind, one of the other two boys read my mind and said, "I'VE GOT IT!" The culprit had previously shown his chauvinistic self so I knew I wasn't reading into anything, and the other two boys agreed later.
And story number two (or three, but who's counting): The other day the girls in the house next to ours needed jumper cables. One of their boyfriends knocked on my door to see if I had any. I did, and I offered them to him. As I handed them to him I said, "Do you know how to use them?" Which was met with a look of disgust and a "Uhhh....yea." How was I supposed to know? Tons of people don't know how to jump a car.
According to Law.com, in 2005, women accounted for 30% of all lawyers and 32% of all physicians and surgeons. And the numbers are on the rise.
The term "feminist" has a lot of negative connotation to it, but in the sense that we should be exactly equal to men, I recognize with the term.
This is when men like to say, "Then don't expect me to hold the door for you or pay for your dinner." That's fine. For dates: whoever asks, pays. And I open doors for people multiple times a day. Not because of my genitalia, but because it's respectful. I don't need a kiss on the cheek, I'll shake your hand. I don't need someone to lay their coat down over a puddle for me. Lord knows I'm not wearing expensive shoes that I'm afraid to get wet.
In a week and a half I'll have two degrees "handed" to me. Every night studying, every test taken, every article written- I did it. I had men in my classes, and I had women in my classes. Same classes, same tests, same articles. If some day I'm paid less than the man next to me doing the exact same job I will have some choice words to say.
I understand maternity leave adds in another factor, but I wonder how many men could give birth, much less bear responsible, productive citizens of society. Early on, women were made out to be useful for reproductive purposes, and not much else. With the rise of women's education and liberation, I wonder how long it will be til men are reduced to being useful for only manual labor and opening pickle jars.
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