Zumba is all the rage these days. It's a mix of aerobics, hip-hop and Latin dance. I saw that the UNC rec center offers a class on Tuesday and Thursday nights so I decided to check it out.
It has since come to my attention that I am white.
Much whiter than I thought I was.
While we were doing Aladdin moves, shuffling right and then back left - everyone looked like Jai Ho goddesses and I looked like a nervous crab scurrying back and forth. And when the instructor told us to put our hands on our knees and drop it low, everyone else looking like music video divas, I looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dame trying to pass a hairball.
The problem, however, can't possibly be my dancing ability. As we all remember (or should), I stood out at my senior year hip-hop recital. Mostly because I stood a foot taller than everyone else in my middle school-dominated class. But also because of my Shakira-like skills. When I go to weddings, bars, my kitchen, wherever - I love to bust a move. And I do it with confidence.
Maybe I should rethink that.
Or maybe, since my dancing ability is infallible, I only look like I can't dance because there are mirrors on the walls. This must be it.
These mirrors make it seem that when we squat and get low, I am the least low in the room. Could it be that my quads aren't as strong as everyone else's? Or is it the mirrors? I do believe it's the latter.
And when we try a new sequence of turns and taps, it appears that I am off-rhythm and borderline drunk. Is it because I am more "Pumba" than "zumba?" Or is it just that the mirrors make it look that way? Again, it must be the mirrors.
Luckily, when I'm out in public I am never in a room lined with mirrors. Which gives me permission to drop it like it's hot and two-step with the confidence I had prior to tonight.
World...you are welcome.
I'm in tears.
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