Keyed

Today I worked out. After watching the last half an hour of Gilmore Girls on the elliptical I decided to visit my recent friend, the Stairmaster.

As I was climbing onto the machine, I put my towel and iPod into the little cup, and then grabbed my key. As I was going to put it in the cup, it slipped out of my hand, tumbling in slow motion onto the stair below me and then bouncing into the gap between the fake stairs and the side panel.

I stared into the gap for a second and lifted my head to meet the eye of the girl on the elliptical next to me who was now giving me a look that clearly said she was glad she wasn't me.

I stepped down and did an awkward side-squat to see if the key had dropped onto the ground but if it had I wouldn't be blogging about it.

I probably would have walked away, ignoring the predicament, if my wallet, phone and keys weren't in the locker that could only be opened by that key.

So I did the walk of shame to the front desk and, head hanging, told the guy what I had done.

He asked which of the two Stairmasters I was on and I said, "The one no one's on." At which point he nodded and then said, "The one that girl is about to get on?!" And I said yes.

With that, he sprinted across the gym and yelled, "DON'T GET ON THERE!" to the now terrified, probably freshman girl. I hung my head again and did a speed walk back to the Stairmaster, pretending Super Gym Guy hadn't made a scene.

After I explained where the key was, the dude had to go get a screwdriver and told me to make sure no one else tried to get on. So I stood behind the Master and pretended like I was stretching until he got back.

With half the gym watching and me still stretching, pretending I had nothing to do with it, he dissembled the left side of the machine until I could reach in and grab my little key.

I am well stretched and borderline mortified.