An Ode to Old Age

It's 2014 and we're off to the races! This is my first week as a permanent employee and it feels great. This chick has BENEFITS! What whattttt! Big girl high five.

I am also now 25 years of age. A whole quarter century. Five times five. I haven't been an age squared in 9 years. My love of symmetry is satisfied. I love to tell people at the office that I'm old now - mostly because they throw me hateful expressions and I'll only be able to say it sarcastically for so long.

On my birthday Jason said, "It's been a good 25 years." So I casually started listing some of my favorite things - and, ya know what?, there are a lot of them. Life's been good.

And it made me think. Lord only knows if I've done it right or wrong. Which leads me to my generation. I'm fascinated by opinions of the millennials, understanding that whatever generation is coming into the workforce at any time will be looked at as rascally rabbits. Oh, those kids. They think they know so much.

And then those people write articles explaining "20 Things 20-Somethings Think They Know But They Don't" or "20 Rude Awakenings Coming at Every 20-Something."

People. Calm yo'selves.

Because even if you think you're riddled with genius, there is someone 10 years older than you that could write a list of "30 Things I Would Tell My Numbnut 30-Something Self."

Here's the thing: There will always be someone older than you and chances are good that they will always think they're wiser than you. I do believe that I am wiser than my 15-year-old self. Kinda how life works. You can't un-experience things soooooo you gain experience over time. Are we surprised?

If I wrote a list of things I would tell my 15-year-old self, it would go like this:
1. Be a decent person
2. Don't do anything too stupid


I imagine if I wrote a list in 10 years to my 25-year-old self, it would look very similar.

My list to everyone writing lists to 20-somethings includes one thing: Stop giving us advice. It does not come from a good place. We will figure it out. Just like you figured it out. And if a millennial does something really stupid at work, you know what will happen? The same thing that would have happened to you. They'll get fired. And probably won't do that thing again. Because that is how people learn - it's how the baby boomers learned to make fire, it's how Gen Y learned to operate a pulley system, it's how Eve learned to stay away from fruit (hence the obesity epidemic).

This is not the first generation to have entitled, drunk, late, overly-ambitious, materialistic, or lazy individuals. And we won't be the last. We also won't be the last generation to write condescending lists of "advice" to those younger than us. I mean...kids these days are addicted to technology when they come out of the womb - will they ever learn to hold a real conversation face-to-face?

Which, of course, was a concern about the invention of the telephone. I'm sure Gen X remembers.


And now, for your eye-rolling entertainment, here are some actual articles about my generation:
Dear Millennials: You're ok. You'll survive. Really.
Why Millennials Can't Grow Up
A generation of idle trophy kids