Ten years too long

I remember marking the date on my calendar in March 2003 when America first dropped bombs in Iraq. We jokingly sang “Bombs Over Baghdad” at youth group and fervently discussed how no one was going to step on America’s toes without retaliation. I knew without question that if we blew them up cause they blew us up, that that would show them and no one would mess with us again. Brush off our hands, give a stern look, and walk out with head held high.

While some sentiments of my early teen years still linger, my thoughts on war have swayed over the past 10 years. I’ve come a long way from the self-proclaimed “War Hawk” blaring Toby Keith in her bedroom.

I believe my lack of outspokenness against war comes partly from my unwavering respect for our military. I tear up at the opening notes of the “Star Spangled Banner” and can occasionally be found sobbing at YouTube videos of surprise military homecomings. My grandfather is a WWII veteran and my Facebook is constantly announcing the deployment/return of another acquaintance. I cannot begin to understand the immensity of the sacrifice it takes to be in the military, but as an everyday citizen, I do appreciate it.

I think my neutral if not “meh” feelings about war stem from my love of logic. Economically, the defense budget is astronomical. I just think of the other things we could be using the money for, if not just paying off some of this ridiculous debt so we don’t have to call China “Daddy.”

Humanely, it seems primitive that we’re all just killing each other. The way I saw it, a few years into the war everyone picked their heads up and said, “Wait, so, like, why are we still fighting?” At some point it becomes a game of “well he did it first.” Or, maybe even worse, we decide to sacrifice our own men trying to fix every problem in sight, assuming there will be an end to the problems. We killed Hussain, we killed Osama...you're welcome. Adieu.

And probably the root of my distaste for anything of this nature, is that I don’t think America should be policing the world. I’ve discussed this with people while travelling – Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, in Asia, Africa and Europe – and everyone seems to think America should bail them out the second they need a hand, but otherwise leave them alone because “you’re not my mom.” Whether it’s their conditional dependency or our willingness to save the day, America has seemingly put every other country before itself. I’m all about a worldwide culture of unity, but it’s more like a worldwide culture of countries sucking the life out of the country saving everyone but themselves.

To be straightforward, I think there are reasons to have and activate a military, and I think the Holocaust is a pretty legit example. I’m not quite a Pacifist and far from a daisy chain headdress-wearing hippie. But where we are now with alliances, nuclear war threats, oil rights…I feel like the whole world needs a Xanax. Calm yo’selves, nations of the world. Because a world war is one thing (whilst still horrible) in 1940, but with realistic chemical/biological/nuclear warfare in the mix we would be in a truckload of trouble.