Ways to Pin for Your Husband

So the most recent social media craze is Pinterest. {For people that don't know what it is, click here for the site or here for a quick summary.} You can find things you like all over the Internet and "pin" them in different personalized categories to go back and look at later.

The site is notoriously full of younger stay-at-home moms who pin things like ways to entertain a toddler on a rainy day, how to recover an ottoman with an old t-shirt, and what the best Crockpot stir fry is.

The stereotype of Pinterest-users is fine with me, cause there are also funny cartoons, great clothes and accessories, and cool ways to decorate your house with DIY goodies. So, yes, I'm on the site and I like to look through fun dessert recipes and funky ways to paint my nails.

There is also a ton of religious content on the site from any spirituality. There are jokes about how obvious a choice atheism is and every prayer you could think of. Which also doesn't bother me, because it's user-generated content and what people want, people pin.

Over the past few weeks, though, I've started to notice a trend amongst users. There are multiple mentions to things like "25 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect" and "Covering Your Husband in Prayer for 31 Days." So naturally I got curious. And y'alllllll, my inner feminist is struggling not to comment a big "OH PUHLEASE" on every one of them.

Not because husbands don't deserve prayer or respect. I think praying for others is nice and that in a marriage you should probably wish your significant other the best, at least for the first few years. But these lists include so many outdated, submissive suggestions like "make him his favorite dinner so he'll be happy with you" and "pray for his purity and that he resists temptation."

First off, how about homeboy prays for himself? Or for you? Or shows you respect?

OR, how about he learns to 1) cook for himself or 2) keep it in his pants so that you don't have to worry about him resisting "temptation."

But more importantly, it bothers me when religious women feel it is their duty to be submissive to a male and that they need to be lead in a marriage. Personally, I like the idea of an equal marriage where you walk hand-in-hand. Plus, I was never good at following in line.

So let's talk about Judeo-Christian women that you're trying to emulate. THEY WERE BADASSES.

They were such badasses that I took a whole semester-long class about women in the Bible AND one on feminist spirituality.

How about Jael from Judges, who straight-up drove a nail through a guy's head that was being chased down by Israel? Or let's talk about Deborah, who was the only female judge and lead military attacks. Or Sarah, who lied to the Pharaoh to save her husband and was subsequently then held hostage and raped. Or Abigail who stood up to her deadbeat husband to save herself and her family. Or Delilah who single-handedly brought down Samson? Or Rebekah? Or how about Mary Magdalene? Or Mary, Jesus's mother?

Not to mention the incredibly strong women in Christian history like Joan of Arc, Harriet Tubman, Sor Juana, Jean Donovan, Maria Stewart, Sarah and Angelina Hemke, Coretta Scott King or Fannie Heck?

These women were FAR from meek, gentle butterflies, cowering in the corner batting their eyelashes.

They were smart. They were kind. They were strong. They were thoughtful. They were ambitious.

And, yes, they were women.

My feminist self can rant and rave about taking ownership of your life and not sitting passively behind your father/husband simply because Ephesians says so, but it probably won't change any minds. So I think religious women should look to the foremothers of Judaism and Christianity, read the Bible stories of strong women acting courageously, and give up this passivity that has somehow stayed relevant.

Cause you know Joan of Arc wouldn't have pinned that.