Sun, sun, go away

It's Saturday in Athens. And, hey!, we actually won! AND I actually went to the game! Needless to say, it's no normal Saturday.

I have some game day advice for all the frequent visitors of Sanford Stadium. Aside from drinking lots of water and not forgetting your ticket, hear me out dawg fans: WEAR SUNSCREEN.

I can see my mother nodding in approval of my wisdom.

But sorry, Mother, this is not strictly for responsibility reasons of saving my skin and avoiding cancer. You should all wear sunscreen come Saturday afternoons to avoid terrible, horrible, no good, very bad tan lines.

Now normal tan lines around your arm from a t-shirt are almost unavoidable and much less embarrassing. The ones I'm referring to are what I'm left with after today's game.

1. The arm tan. My sleeveless dress helped me stay away from the farmer's tan, but I still managed an infinitely obvious line across my shoulder. It was only my left shoulder though so I only look half like a freak.

2. The sunglass tan. Go ahead and accept this one. With your lack of sunscreen you can either accept the sunglass tan and match your fellow classmates come Monday, or you can suffer through three hours of squinting into the sun that so kindly shines directly on the student section.

3. The chest tan. Beware of your neckline as you get dressed in your gameday sorostitute attire because, should you forego sunscreen, you will have to wear clothes with this exact same neck for a week to hide your new, semi-permanent neckline.

4. The necklace tan. Luckily I was smart enough to remove my large and in charge necklace before the game started because I am all too used to giving people awkward side-stares on the Monday after when they have the sunburnt outline of a chunky necklace that seemed like a good idea at the time.

5. The worst. And definitely most embarrassing and impossible to hide: The Georgia "G" tan line. That's right. Those adorable little face tattoos that you put on your cheek to show how spirited you are. I now have a pale oval on my cheek. There is no excuse for it's placement except for a "G" tattoo or falling asleep on the beach with only your thumb on the side of your face.


So, all-weather fans, beware of this bitch of a life source we call the sun. Next time I hope you will consider bringing along the SPF and if not, you have been warned.