Mirror, mirror on all the walls...

Zumba is all the rage these days. It's a mix of aerobics, hip-hop and Latin dance. I saw that the UNC rec center offers a class on Tuesday and Thursday nights so I decided to check it out.

It has since come to my attention that I am white.

Much whiter than I thought I was.

While we were doing Aladdin moves, shuffling right and then back left - everyone looked like Jai Ho goddesses and I looked like a nervous crab scurrying back and forth. And when the instructor told us to put our hands on our knees and drop it low, everyone else looking like music video divas, I looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dame trying to pass a hairball.

The problem, however, can't possibly be my dancing ability. As we all remember (or should), I stood out at my senior year hip-hop recital. Mostly because I stood a foot taller than everyone else in my middle school-dominated class. But also because of my Shakira-like skills. When I go to weddings, bars, my kitchen, wherever - I love to bust a move. And I do it with confidence.

Maybe I should rethink that.

Or maybe, since my dancing ability is infallible, I only look like I can't dance because there are mirrors on the walls. This must be it.

These mirrors make it seem that when we squat and get low, I am the least low in the room. Could it be that my quads aren't as strong as everyone else's? Or is it the mirrors? I do believe it's the latter.

And when we try a new sequence of turns and taps, it appears that I am off-rhythm and borderline drunk. Is it because I am more "Pumba" than "zumba?" Or is it just that the mirrors make it look that way? Again, it must be the mirrors.

Luckily, when I'm out in public I am never in a room lined with mirrors. Which gives me permission to drop it like it's hot and two-step with the confidence I had prior to tonight.

World...you are welcome.

Thanksgiving Thanks

It's almost Thanksgiving. My sisters and brothers-in-law are coming in town and the '57 Chevy is already filled up with Tupperwares of various cookies.

One of the things I'm most thankful for this year is the example of marriage set by my parents.

In fact, parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, and even sisters. Call it luck, hard work or stubborn commitment, but no one in my family has divorced. But it isn't just about divorce.

Earlier this semester, I took a Myers-Briggs test for class and got the results back, ironically, the day after I wrote the Ways to Pin for Your Husband blog. Turns out I'm an INTJ, meaning I'm independent, question everything and believe everything can be improved. We were given packets of information about our personality types and, to me, it was scarily on point.

Less than 2% of women are INTJs, and a big part of the personality type is a distaste for tradition. Here's an excerpt from my profile packet:

"Many of the traits described above - independence, objectivity, and control - fly in the face of traditional feminine models. Moreover, the INTJ's need to challenge tradition and improve everything can cause friction in the male-dominated workplace. This conflict can lead to rejection by both genders: Males simply don't understand or know how to cope with the female INTJ's independence; other women see the INTJ female as arrogant, caring for no one but herself. Indeed, INTJ women often have little patience for women who display traditional feminine characteristics."

I tried to look past how it says people think I'm arrogant and that I'll never fit in at work. Instead, things I've felt/thought for a long time about tradition suddenly felt justified. I've never wanted to do/say/believe things just cause someone says I should. And all this translates to relationships for me.

I've said it before - I see marriage as a partnership. I see no reason that a man should be the authority solely because he's got man parts. I'd rather not have an "authority" in my marriage. Each person has different strengths and a marriage should be finding the right combination of those to make a life together work. It disappoints me and the Feminist Movement when ambitious, intelligent women get married and take the back seat in life the second they say "I do."

This has nothing to do with being a stay-at-home-mom. My mom stayed home with us for about 16 years and it wasn't a secret that she was the head of the household. This has to do with the passivity that comes along with the belief that a woman needs a man to lead her through life. Cause there's just no way she'd be able to find her way on her own.

But the examples of successful relationships around me show that vows come true - there will be thick and thin, sickness and health, rich and poor, good times and bad - and the best way to face that is with a partner. Not a boss. To not give up on the partnership, to work on always maintaining the partnership, and to believe in the partnership.

This is a lot of talk from someone who's never been married. But on this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful that when the time is right, I'll have several positive examples to turn to, and that up until this point I've been surrounded by great examples of strong women, give-and-take relationships, and sustainable marriages.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

Nov. 6 Can't Come Soon Enough

Happy fall, everyone! And not-so-happy voting season!

As much as I hate talking about politics, I am going to take this time to do so because - let's be honest - this is the only medium where I won't be berated for even mentioning a candidate's name.

I don't like politics. Particularly politicians. But I don't quite think it's justified for me to complain about it all because I'm not going to run for any office, so the politicians we have are just going to have to be good enough.

Each Wednesday I sit through a three-hour class that is supposed to be about public relations, but quickly turns into the Democratic National Convention where everyone hops on the Obama train and rides it in circles chuckling to themselves.

This is an exact quote from class last week: "It seems like everyone is starting to lie nowadays. I mean, Obama even lied in the last debate."

Before I could stop myself, I made an exaggerated gasp, looked the girl straight in the eye and said "Nooooooo!"

Now I'm not a huge fan of either presidential candidate, and I like to look at issues individually instead of through a party lens, but if you honestly think that your candidate doesn't lie... you need to have an honest conversation with a psychiatrist.

It seems that around family and Georgia friends, I'm the crazy liberal who believes gays are human and that the government shouldn't be able to stick things in my uterus. Coming to UNC, I quickly became the conservative who considers the national debt an issue and sees that tightening gun control laws would only affect people interested in following laws in the first place.

Honestly, I get what Obama was trying to say with the whole "you didn't build that" comment. I also get where Romney was going with the 47 percent comment. Neither of them chose the right words, and the opposite party took quick advantage of that.

The point is, this election is off the charts in terms of slinging hatred. I understand that people feel strongly that their candidate is better than the other. But I've heard it spun in both directions that "if [Candidate] wins the election, America will instantly be drawn up in flames spit by the devil himself." As far as I can tell, there are actually decent people on either side of the election, and however wrong you feel they are - they do believe that what they're doing is best for America. Or at least I'd hope so.

So if you want to vote - do so in the manner of your choosing. However, excessive Facebook posts and outraged rants are only going to lose you respect - even from people that may agree with you. Let's try and focus on why "our" party is best for America, and less on why "their" party is bad. You might keep some friends that way.

I, on the other hand, will continue to remain silent during all the rants. Even if it means sore eyeballs from all the rolling they do.

A wedding celebration

This weekend I got to watch my beautiful friend Ann-Katherine get married! This year alone I get to be a part of my high school best friend, college best friend and since-fifth-grade best friend's weddings. That's pretty neat.

I blogged about when AK graduated a semester early and moved out of our house in Athens a few years ago. Luckily, I got to live with her for 2.5 years and the majority of my college memories involve her.

So in honor of my wonderful roommate getting married to one hell of a guy, here is a run down of this weekend in pictures:

Reunited with my four best mates on Thursday!

Bridal luncheon cupcakes

My Child and Family Development major friends found a baby

My beautiful friend Mollie

Bride on rehearsal day

At the hotel before the rehearsal dinner - Memphis Bridge in the background

Memphis Bridge

Bride with downtown Memphis in the background

Rehearsal Dinner

More rehearsal dinner - in our UGA colors

Wedding morning cheers!

Almost ready

BRIDE!

So so beautiful - reading her letter from John

Cathedral length veil looked so awesome walking down the aisle

With the matron of honor

All five

The cake

The reception venue - Teton Trek at the Memphis Zoo

Getting down with grandma

My parents came too!

I do realize there are no pictures of John in here, but I was with AK the whole time so I didn't really see him much except at the actual ceremony and I don't think they're fond of iPhone pictures in the cathedral. Anyways, congrats AK and John! 

Grandpa Turns 90

This weekend was my grandfather's 90th birthday party in Delaware. And, as expected with the Austin/Athow family, there was plenty of blog material.

I made it halfway up the driveway upon my arrival before my grandpa said it sure would be nice to see all of his grandchildren get married. This is the same grandpa I referenced in my blog about how I'm not getting married anytime soon. Apparently the hint was not received.

The weekend was filled with grandchildren passing around great grandchildren, dogs trying to knock down grandparents, and the occasional excessively-loud phrase yelled by an aunt. When the dogs barked the babies cried and when the babies cried the dogs would bark. My family is not exactly soft-spoken, so the babies and dogs being on board is really just a sign of Austin family unity.

I caught some flak for calling my dad's first cousin a "distant cousin" in my post about the family beach trip. My thought is that if I've never heard of her in the past 23 years, she isn't exactly "near" now, is she? I also had people tell me they've been reading my blog. Which would have been flattering if it wasn't said in a warning tone like I peed on the carpet.

My grandpa also has new reading glasses. And I'm assuming he wasn't wearing any glasses when he picked out the new ones because they are leopard print. So when my grandpa asked my dad to hand him his reading glasses, my dad hung his head in resignation that his father had resorted to jungle cat eyewear.

Jason and Hunter were recruited to the grandparents' basement to see the wall of genealogy books my grandpa has kept for years. Which is kind of like diving into a black hole. I have three 3-inch binders solely about me if that gives you an idea of the amount of material that has collected on this wall. Everyone's books start with a fact sheet about birthplace and parent information. Grandpa handed Jason one of the sheets and told him to fill it out "if he was serious." Austins are not known for subtlety. At first we thought that Hunter would need to be saved after a few minutes, but once he caught sight of Ashley's book he was happy to browse. He flipped through photos of her awkward years (4-17) with glee, taking pictures of every page because each one was better than the last.

The whole weekend was full of shaking my head at the chaos and sharing looks of "oh boy" with my cousins. Luckily my family members are all great sports and great people, and it actually is very cool to think of all the things my grandfather has seen and experienced in his 90 years. So Sunday morning we shared hugs and said goodbyes, and - in true grandpa fashion - as Jason was saying goodbye, my grandpa pulled him close and whispered in his ear, "I'm waiting."

Birthday surprises

About two weeks ago, Jason's parents called me and asked if I'd like to be flown out to surprise him at his uncle's house in Reno, NV. He's on a 6-8 week roadtrip around the country and has been out west for three weeks working on his uncle's seed farm. I, of course, completely agreed and thus flew out last Friday for a weekend full of camping, hiking, lake-going and general all-round fun.

And here go the pictures.

The view from their house

We stopped on the drive to our campsite thinking this would be the best view we'd get

And then we decided to hike to the top of a mountain (9,700 ft high). Beware of the large amount of mountain top pictures to follow.

And the view from the bottom of the mountain.

And then we went to Lake Tahoe Sunday afternoon to try and comprehend how a beach, lake and mountains can all be in one place at once.

Braving the freezing water

Ways to Pin for Your Husband

So the most recent social media craze is Pinterest. {For people that don't know what it is, click here for the site or here for a quick summary.} You can find things you like all over the Internet and "pin" them in different personalized categories to go back and look at later.

The site is notoriously full of younger stay-at-home moms who pin things like ways to entertain a toddler on a rainy day, how to recover an ottoman with an old t-shirt, and what the best Crockpot stir fry is.

The stereotype of Pinterest-users is fine with me, cause there are also funny cartoons, great clothes and accessories, and cool ways to decorate your house with DIY goodies. So, yes, I'm on the site and I like to look through fun dessert recipes and funky ways to paint my nails.

There is also a ton of religious content on the site from any spirituality. There are jokes about how obvious a choice atheism is and every prayer you could think of. Which also doesn't bother me, because it's user-generated content and what people want, people pin.

Over the past few weeks, though, I've started to notice a trend amongst users. There are multiple mentions to things like "25 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect" and "Covering Your Husband in Prayer for 31 Days." So naturally I got curious. And y'alllllll, my inner feminist is struggling not to comment a big "OH PUHLEASE" on every one of them.

Not because husbands don't deserve prayer or respect. I think praying for others is nice and that in a marriage you should probably wish your significant other the best, at least for the first few years. But these lists include so many outdated, submissive suggestions like "make him his favorite dinner so he'll be happy with you" and "pray for his purity and that he resists temptation."

First off, how about homeboy prays for himself? Or for you? Or shows you respect?

OR, how about he learns to 1) cook for himself or 2) keep it in his pants so that you don't have to worry about him resisting "temptation."

But more importantly, it bothers me when religious women feel it is their duty to be submissive to a male and that they need to be lead in a marriage. Personally, I like the idea of an equal marriage where you walk hand-in-hand. Plus, I was never good at following in line.

So let's talk about Judeo-Christian women that you're trying to emulate. THEY WERE BADASSES.

They were such badasses that I took a whole semester-long class about women in the Bible AND one on feminist spirituality.

How about Jael from Judges, who straight-up drove a nail through a guy's head that was being chased down by Israel? Or let's talk about Deborah, who was the only female judge and lead military attacks. Or Sarah, who lied to the Pharaoh to save her husband and was subsequently then held hostage and raped. Or Abigail who stood up to her deadbeat husband to save herself and her family. Or Delilah who single-handedly brought down Samson? Or Rebekah? Or how about Mary Magdalene? Or Mary, Jesus's mother?

Not to mention the incredibly strong women in Christian history like Joan of Arc, Harriet Tubman, Sor Juana, Jean Donovan, Maria Stewart, Sarah and Angelina Hemke, Coretta Scott King or Fannie Heck?

These women were FAR from meek, gentle butterflies, cowering in the corner batting their eyelashes.

They were smart. They were kind. They were strong. They were thoughtful. They were ambitious.

And, yes, they were women.

My feminist self can rant and rave about taking ownership of your life and not sitting passively behind your father/husband simply because Ephesians says so, but it probably won't change any minds. So I think religious women should look to the foremothers of Judaism and Christianity, read the Bible stories of strong women acting courageously, and give up this passivity that has somehow stayed relevant.

Cause you know Joan of Arc wouldn't have pinned that.

Party of 5...er...14

My family went to the beach.

But not just my immediate family.

My mom and my dad, Ashley and Hunter, Lisa and Matt, Hunter's mom and dad, Matt's mom and dad and sister and sister's boyfriend, my dad's distant cousin and her husband, Jason and I...went to the beach.

Now when just my family of five used to go on vacation, it was some version of the Clampetts go to the beach. We would have some sodas, some lunch meat, a Piggly Wiggly bag of Little Debbie snack cakes, and some SPF.

The Edwards (Hunter & parents), however, know how to do a beach trip. Or at least the food. We get to our house and, by the looks of it, Hunter and his mother had bought out the Charlotte Costco. Not only did they bring food, they cooked it, too. And, unlike the Austins, they know how to cook it right. So we did not go hungry last week, to say the least.

With Matt joining the family in 350 days, he's having to get used to some of the Austin-isms that the five/six of us have grown oblivious to. For example, he doesn't like when I call my dad out for not acting right and use unkind names like...[meanie] and [negative Nancy]. He gets offended.

Matt also wasn't ready for the family conversation that took place concerning when Ashley should go into the ocean to pee, and the sequential events. Once we had all decided that it was the right timing for such event, Ashley did not walk into the ocean to about waist height and then return a few minutes later - she waded into the waves until the water reached her ankles and then straight up popped a squat.

The rest of us, of course, couldn't stop laughing in our beach chairs, turned around, pointing and gawking at her posted up in the kiddy pool. Which really helped her subtlety.

This is your attorney, people.

A couple times during the week, my dad's cousin came to visit for a few hours. She likes to share stories. And tales. And opinions. Needless to say, she doesn't need a penny to share her thoughts. At one point during the week, Jason must have said something about being in the sun, and Debbie came to the rescue. She whipped out some type of after sun lotion and began to rub it on Jason's arm. Now this is the boy who is bothered by nothing, and I was receiving some serious mental signals that a line had been crossed. The rest of us looked away and waited for it to be over.

Debbie wasn't the only family member who got to know Jason a little too well over the trip though, because Jason bought his bathing suit from Walmart. These days Jason is weighing in around 280, and he decided to see how far he could do a split in the sand... facing Ashley. Was this revenge for having to watch her relieve herself in the deep blue? We may never know but I won't rule it out.

Austin/Edwards/Hinson/Hill Week 2012 was a success, and I am extremely lucky to say that all of us get along famously.

PUPPYPALOOZA!!!

Last weekend I went to Charlotte to visit my wonderful sister and brother-in-law.

Oh yeah, and they just happened to have a brand new puppy there too.

World, meet the cutest puppy ever, my niece-dog, Hope.

Hope wasn't sure about the stairs.

And the crowd goes, "AWWWWWWWW"