Abridgment and lack there of

Let's discuss America.

I love America.

My favorite part of America is the thing I've based my schooling and career around - the magnificent First Amendment (particularly those speech, religion and press parts).

I've taken a full year of First Amendment law and even presented a paper on speech rights at an academic conference. You can pretty much say anything in America and you will not be punished by the government.

If Donald Sterling wants to tell his sidepiece not to hang out with black people, he's allowed to scream it from the rooftops.

If Phil Robertson wants to preach that homosexuality is a sin, then cheers - he'd fit in great with a little homegrown church from Topeka that I know of.

If Paula Dean wants to have black help at her kid's wedding because it's reminiscent of Civil War slavery, then hokie dokie. Leave a big tip.

If Truitt Cathy wants to cast gays as sinners and donate money to Exodus International, where they pray away the gay (successfully, no doubt), then I offer him a shrug and slight eye roll.

Here's to freedom of speech. They all said their pieces and didn't get arrested. Because freedom of speech is between a citizen and the government.

The government.

None of them had any kind of LEGAL, government action taken against them - which means their freedom of speech has been protected.

Now, my second favorite part of America is the democracy part. Because when Paula Dean or Truitt Cathy do something I don't like, I'm allowed to NOT buy their products. I am also allowed to say "I don't like that" and not get arrested.

When Phil or Donald - public figures who represent franchises - make public statements directly contradicting company policy, they can be dismissed from their positions and/or sponsorship can be dropped.

If I were a public figure and I represented Kimberly-Clark in an interview, I would try not to say anything stupid. If I quoted Luke 12:47, I would probably be let go. Because it is against company policy to beat people for not doing what they're told. Oh right, and slavery. Kimberly-Clark doesn't support slavery. They also don't like their name being associated with that kind of outdated rhetoric from a 2000-year old book, best-seller or not.

If you heard me say something supportive of slavery and/or beatings on behalf of slavery and, say, you were NOT a fan of slavery and/or beatings - you are allowed to no longer buy Kimberly-Clark products.

Because...capitalism. Freedom of choice. America.

So, as long as these people aren't being arrested for what they say, they are not having their First Amendment rights infringed upon. The First Amendment means you have the freedom to say what you want, but it does not guarantee freedom from consequences. So let's stop hiding behind it and start taking more accountability for ourselves.

An Ode to Old Age

It's 2014 and we're off to the races! This is my first week as a permanent employee and it feels great. This chick has BENEFITS! What whattttt! Big girl high five.

I am also now 25 years of age. A whole quarter century. Five times five. I haven't been an age squared in 9 years. My love of symmetry is satisfied. I love to tell people at the office that I'm old now - mostly because they throw me hateful expressions and I'll only be able to say it sarcastically for so long.

On my birthday Jason said, "It's been a good 25 years." So I casually started listing some of my favorite things - and, ya know what?, there are a lot of them. Life's been good.

And it made me think. Lord only knows if I've done it right or wrong. Which leads me to my generation. I'm fascinated by opinions of the millennials, understanding that whatever generation is coming into the workforce at any time will be looked at as rascally rabbits. Oh, those kids. They think they know so much.

And then those people write articles explaining "20 Things 20-Somethings Think They Know But They Don't" or "20 Rude Awakenings Coming at Every 20-Something."

People. Calm yo'selves.

Because even if you think you're riddled with genius, there is someone 10 years older than you that could write a list of "30 Things I Would Tell My Numbnut 30-Something Self."

Here's the thing: There will always be someone older than you and chances are good that they will always think they're wiser than you. I do believe that I am wiser than my 15-year-old self. Kinda how life works. You can't un-experience things soooooo you gain experience over time. Are we surprised?

If I wrote a list of things I would tell my 15-year-old self, it would go like this:
1. Be a decent person
2. Don't do anything too stupid


I imagine if I wrote a list in 10 years to my 25-year-old self, it would look very similar.

My list to everyone writing lists to 20-somethings includes one thing: Stop giving us advice. It does not come from a good place. We will figure it out. Just like you figured it out. And if a millennial does something really stupid at work, you know what will happen? The same thing that would have happened to you. They'll get fired. And probably won't do that thing again. Because that is how people learn - it's how the baby boomers learned to make fire, it's how Gen Y learned to operate a pulley system, it's how Eve learned to stay away from fruit (hence the obesity epidemic).

This is not the first generation to have entitled, drunk, late, overly-ambitious, materialistic, or lazy individuals. And we won't be the last. We also won't be the last generation to write condescending lists of "advice" to those younger than us. I mean...kids these days are addicted to technology when they come out of the womb - will they ever learn to hold a real conversation face-to-face?

Which, of course, was a concern about the invention of the telephone. I'm sure Gen X remembers.


And now, for your eye-rolling entertainment, here are some actual articles about my generation:
Dear Millennials: You're ok. You'll survive. Really.
Why Millennials Can't Grow Up
A generation of idle trophy kids

Down. Set. Strike?

Growing up, football to me meant dad's Eagles sweatshirt and the sound of a Sunday afternoon nap. I grew fond of the sport itself during college at my SEC school and my love has continued to blossom.

Recently, there has been a lot of discussion about safety in football and who is responsible for what. I read something that listed what "futbol" was in various countries around the world (soccer) and then what it is in the U.S. - the argument being that this shows Americans are innantely violent creatures.

I then browsed over this link on CNN today and had myself a little read. The article is about how we shouldn't support the NFL because it "causes harm to its players."

Breaking news: I have an opinion.

Has any mother ever put Little Timmy in little league thinking that football is a safe sport where he will be left alone? When looking at no-contact options like soccer, swimming, or track, mom said to herself, "Football seems the safest!" Hell you even have the option to put a variety of NETS in between Timmy and his opponent if safety is the number one concern.

Can we, as Americans, use our brains for a second? Let's be responsible for our choices and actions, people. We all seem very concerned about finding someone else to blame when we should be putting that energy into something more fruitful like electing new congressmen.

Now I'm not saying that the NFL is fully innocent - they have some admitting of their own to do - but football players used to wear a piece of leather over their heads back in the day. We've obviously come a long way already.

Also... are we just ignoring the entire sport of boxing?

The legitimate goal of boxing is to knock your opponent unconscious. THAT IS HOW YOU WIN. We're worried about minor concussions in our football players when boxers are trying to blunt force trauma each other into next Tuesday.

Are we all ignoring this? Or are we just saying "well yeah that's boxing." Because...yeah...it is boxing. Boxers expect to get hit. And football is football. Players should expect to get hit. Cause that's how you play the game.

This is how it would go if I played football: We'd line up, start the play, I'd crash into somebody in some form of tackle, stand up, and say something like, "Hey...that hurt. I don't like being hurt." And I would QUIT. Because that's my prerogative and this is America and we can do Land-Of-The-Free things like that - things like NOT play a sport when we think it hurts.

If you don't want to smack into someone every 30 seconds of a game, football isn't for you. Don't spend 20 years flinging your body head-first at other 300-lb men and then wonder why you have brain damage.

Grow up, America. Put your big boy panties on, accept consequences for your decisions, reopen the government, and quit blaming the world for your priority of a paycheck over health. As my favorite movie Remember the Titans says, "Y'all are acting like a bunch of sissies! Quit it"

News or no news?

I like to be a well-informed citizen.

When 9/11 happened I was 12-years-old and just kinda didn't get it. I was in Mrs. Striby's pre-algebra class and instead of lessons we got to watch the news. Most of us talked and doodled.

My war-hawk attitude was also that of a 12-year-old, in that they hit us so we needed to hit back. I look back at my naivete and feel like I didn't give the day, the time, the victims the respect deserved. Frankly, I was a preteen in the upper-middle class bubble of Alpharetta and the hardest part of my life was finding jeans to fit my 5-foot-7, 95 lb. frame. I hadn't the slightest understanding of grief or tragedy, so there was no way to comprehend the day's events.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I don't really know the ins and outs of our military action in the Middle East - and trying to catch up 12 years later is overwhelming. So I wanted to pay close attention to our action in/not-in Syria. I like the idea of being a well-informed citizen - making voting decisions based on the pletora of material I've read about current events and proposed legislation, always ready to start a moral debate about governmental decisions, and being the one to say, "Yes, but they just came out with a study/interview/new witness that says..." while discussing the news.

Through my six years of undergraduate and graduate journalism school, I tried to stay current - though there is an ongoing joke that journalism graduate school is the best way to insure you don't have time to keep up with actual journalism. During my summer working for Turner in the CNN center, I had my little desk TV tuned in to CNN nine hours a day. I listen to the radio as I get ready for work and the first thing I do at work is check my email and open cnn.com.

I'm doing it.

Now the second part of this story is that I am terrified of being robbed/murdered/raped/jumped - both at night in any type of parking lot and in my own home. This has been the case since I was about 8 or 9 and it is completely irrational. So I Googled how to quit being so terrified of nothing and the number one response was to stop watching the news. And, by golly, I think they're right.

Between the need for ratings and the state of our society, every day's news brings a more shocking headline or gruesome story. I (stupidly) followed the case of a man who was planning to kidnap, rape, torture, murder and EAT children who was just put away for 26 years - luckily before he could carry out any of his plans. I looked through the photo gallery of evidence found in his house which includes a child's onesie, restraint mechanisms, a butchering set, cannibalism videos, a soundproof dungeon, and a cage.

Completely sick. And it's a different thing every day. A woman pushes her groom off a cliff, teens beat a veteran to death for fun, a gunner shoots up the D.C. navy yard. If you pay enough attention to the news these days, it seems that all there is in the world is evil.

I got tired of all the bad this morning so I went to HLN.com, which is usually softer news, and the cover story is "14-year-old girl snatched in Georgia home invasion." So I click on the "Feel Good" tab and the first story was "Were Bama sorority recruits nixed for race?" Not so feel good, huh? So...in one last effort...I click on a link of all the animal stories - because nothing will boost your mood like a puppy. The first two stories were "Teens post video putting kitten in microwave" and "Extreme sadness ahead: Celebs mourn their pets."

So here is my thought. I have an excellent life. Not only was I lucky enough to be born in an incredible country to even more incredible parents, but I've gotten myself to a great place, with a great company, and a great man by my side. Things are really awesome these days, which is not the case for the majority of people.

Life in general is not always great - friends and family pass away, people get sick, bills pile up, relationships crumble, accidents happen. For the most part, people are just trying to get through whatever storm they're weathering. So can we really blame the American public for not wanting to regularly ingest the horror stories we call "news"? I'm starting to think that ignorance really is bliss, and maybe Americans are on to something. Maybe a news hiatus will remind me of all the positive in life, because keeping up with the news is a surefire way to bring yourself down.


To leave everyone on a positive note, here is a great story about a mother openly accepting her son as he comes out of the closet. Here's to the uplifting stories.

Ten years too long

I remember marking the date on my calendar in March 2003 when America first dropped bombs in Iraq. We jokingly sang “Bombs Over Baghdad” at youth group and fervently discussed how no one was going to step on America’s toes without retaliation. I knew without question that if we blew them up cause they blew us up, that that would show them and no one would mess with us again. Brush off our hands, give a stern look, and walk out with head held high.

While some sentiments of my early teen years still linger, my thoughts on war have swayed over the past 10 years. I’ve come a long way from the self-proclaimed “War Hawk” blaring Toby Keith in her bedroom.

I believe my lack of outspokenness against war comes partly from my unwavering respect for our military. I tear up at the opening notes of the “Star Spangled Banner” and can occasionally be found sobbing at YouTube videos of surprise military homecomings. My grandfather is a WWII veteran and my Facebook is constantly announcing the deployment/return of another acquaintance. I cannot begin to understand the immensity of the sacrifice it takes to be in the military, but as an everyday citizen, I do appreciate it.

I think my neutral if not “meh” feelings about war stem from my love of logic. Economically, the defense budget is astronomical. I just think of the other things we could be using the money for, if not just paying off some of this ridiculous debt so we don’t have to call China “Daddy.”

Humanely, it seems primitive that we’re all just killing each other. The way I saw it, a few years into the war everyone picked their heads up and said, “Wait, so, like, why are we still fighting?” At some point it becomes a game of “well he did it first.” Or, maybe even worse, we decide to sacrifice our own men trying to fix every problem in sight, assuming there will be an end to the problems. We killed Hussain, we killed Osama...you're welcome. Adieu.

And probably the root of my distaste for anything of this nature, is that I don’t think America should be policing the world. I’ve discussed this with people while travelling – Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, in Asia, Africa and Europe – and everyone seems to think America should bail them out the second they need a hand, but otherwise leave them alone because “you’re not my mom.” Whether it’s their conditional dependency or our willingness to save the day, America has seemingly put every other country before itself. I’m all about a worldwide culture of unity, but it’s more like a worldwide culture of countries sucking the life out of the country saving everyone but themselves.

To be straightforward, I think there are reasons to have and activate a military, and I think the Holocaust is a pretty legit example. I’m not quite a Pacifist and far from a daisy chain headdress-wearing hippie. But where we are now with alliances, nuclear war threats, oil rights…I feel like the whole world needs a Xanax. Calm yo’selves, nations of the world. Because a world war is one thing (whilst still horrible) in 1940, but with realistic chemical/biological/nuclear warfare in the mix we would be in a truckload of trouble.

Nov. 6 Can't Come Soon Enough

Happy fall, everyone! And not-so-happy voting season!

As much as I hate talking about politics, I am going to take this time to do so because - let's be honest - this is the only medium where I won't be berated for even mentioning a candidate's name.

I don't like politics. Particularly politicians. But I don't quite think it's justified for me to complain about it all because I'm not going to run for any office, so the politicians we have are just going to have to be good enough.

Each Wednesday I sit through a three-hour class that is supposed to be about public relations, but quickly turns into the Democratic National Convention where everyone hops on the Obama train and rides it in circles chuckling to themselves.

This is an exact quote from class last week: "It seems like everyone is starting to lie nowadays. I mean, Obama even lied in the last debate."

Before I could stop myself, I made an exaggerated gasp, looked the girl straight in the eye and said "Nooooooo!"

Now I'm not a huge fan of either presidential candidate, and I like to look at issues individually instead of through a party lens, but if you honestly think that your candidate doesn't lie... you need to have an honest conversation with a psychiatrist.

It seems that around family and Georgia friends, I'm the crazy liberal who believes gays are human and that the government shouldn't be able to stick things in my uterus. Coming to UNC, I quickly became the conservative who considers the national debt an issue and sees that tightening gun control laws would only affect people interested in following laws in the first place.

Honestly, I get what Obama was trying to say with the whole "you didn't build that" comment. I also get where Romney was going with the 47 percent comment. Neither of them chose the right words, and the opposite party took quick advantage of that.

The point is, this election is off the charts in terms of slinging hatred. I understand that people feel strongly that their candidate is better than the other. But I've heard it spun in both directions that "if [Candidate] wins the election, America will instantly be drawn up in flames spit by the devil himself." As far as I can tell, there are actually decent people on either side of the election, and however wrong you feel they are - they do believe that what they're doing is best for America. Or at least I'd hope so.

So if you want to vote - do so in the manner of your choosing. However, excessive Facebook posts and outraged rants are only going to lose you respect - even from people that may agree with you. Let's try and focus on why "our" party is best for America, and less on why "their" party is bad. You might keep some friends that way.

I, on the other hand, will continue to remain silent during all the rants. Even if it means sore eyeballs from all the rolling they do.

Fifty Shades of Oh PUHLEASE

Men. You're being hypocritical.

Now I haven't read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy so I don't have much of an opinion on the phenomenon. But then I read this article.

Essentially, men are feeling that they can't live up to Christian Grey's sexual... acts? deviance? wonder? ...whatever it is that he does. And it makes them feel bad.

Also, that daughters are getting ahold of the books and that is just not right.

Let me remind you that men, women and children have access to a fun little tool called the Internet. Boys and girls much younger than the mentioned 18-year-old have seen way more provocative things, IN VIDEO, on the Internet. So let's just be glad that kids these days know what books are.

And men are the main audience for these videos. Even married ones. So is it really worse for women to read a book about sex, than it is for men to watch videos of the actual act - where they can see the actors..."act?" For years women have said that they feel they can't live up to the women in these videos, and now men are getting a little tastey taste of what that's like.

Can't say I feel bad for you, guys. You're gonna have to buck up. I bet Christian Grey would.

Bloggers Deserve to Die

So here's one of a series of ads run by the Lung Cancer Alliance. If you can't read the copy, it says:

IF THEY HAVE LUNG CANCER. Many people believe that if you have lung cancer you did something to deserve it. It sounds absurd, but it's true. Lung cancer doesn't discriminate and neither should you. Help put an end to the stigma and the disease at NoOneDeservesToDie.org.

Naturally, I have something to say about this.

Perhaps the ad is referring to the non-smokers of the world that have died of lung cancer, approximately 15% of all fatal cases. But I don't think so. I think the ad is aimed at debunking the thought that if you smoke you deserve to die.

I'm not wishing any general population dead. And I'm not making the statement that all smokers deserve to die. But if you make really stupid decisions with your health your whole life, and then want me to be sympathetic when you get sick, the answer is no.

If I sleep with a loaded pistol under my pillow every night, and one night I shoot myself in my sleep, will you feel bad for me? Probs not. You'll think, "Well, maybe you shouldn't have slept with a loaded pistol under your head... and then that loaded pistol wouldn't have gone off and shot you in the head."

DUH.

And it's not that the actual moment of death is any less impactful, it's more so that everyone that hears of said death will say, "Yeah... saw that comin."

Mayyybeee we should all start taking some responsibility for what we do to our own bodies. So we can avoid the blame game when we finally face consequences to the decisions we've made.

Smoking your whole life is a prolonged game of Russian Roulette. So don't be surprised when you reap what you've sown. And please don't ask me to pay for your healthcare.

Tent City Temperaments

So you may have caught on by now that I advocate for gay rights. No, this isn't another gay rights post, but I need to preface this by saying that I think people should be treated fairly and I'm a general fan of human rights.

Now let's talk about prisoners' rights. Prisoners are in prison because they have broken the law badly enough, or enough times, that they are now locked up. This is what sets them apart from any other human that falls under "human rights" (color, sexuality, gender, religion, etc.).

We don't torture our prisoners. We don't starve them or deny them medical help. We give them three meals a day and a roof over their heads. We even give them recreational time. I get that prisoners are still people that should be treated humanely, but you don't become a prisoner by being an upstanding, law-abiding citizen.

I've been to countries where, if you're in prison, someone outside of the prison has to bring you food if you're going to eat at all. I've also been places where the people would give up a limb to live in the conditions of an American prison. Also, there are American soldiers fighting places that are hotter, dirtier, and more confined than any American prison.

This is all leading to the fact that Jason and I like to watch prison shows. So the other night we were watching one about the toughest sheriff in America who runs a prison with a "tent city" as part of it. Protesters love to line the outside of the tent city to rant about the terrible conditions.

The tent city is an outdoor collection of large tents with bunks lined up under the tents. In the summer, the heat can make the temperature spike to 120 degrees. That's pretty high. I can get why people would be unhappy with that. The catch? If you don't want to be a part of the tent city, you don't have to! You can refuse your assignment and be put in a cell inside like normal prisoners. You can leave at any time. So you can literally choose your prison conditions. I no longer have sympathy for the tent city people.

Then, the show features a prisoner who is just appalled with the conditions and thinks everything in inhumane, etc. He's well spoken. The sheriff comes around to talk with the prisoners about the tent city. When the sheriff talks to this particular prisoner, does he complain about the high temperatures? Nope. Does he complain about food or shower schedules or anything else that might be ever considered inhumane by anyone? No.

And I quote:
"How come we only have a few channels on the TV? I wanted to watch the Clippers game last night but the only one we got is the Lakers."

I'm sorry....WHAT?!

I have exactly one and a half channels on a lucky day, when my digital antenna is in a good mood. I don't pay for my own cable and you want my tax money to go to cable for a prison so that you can get ESPN2!? Boy you must be out yo mind.

If I ran a prison, by the time the people got out, they would have forgotten what a TV looks like. How's about we give prisoners BOOKS? It's this old technology where people learn things through reading words on a page. Then you flip the page, and there are more words to read. Repeat.

I might also make the prisoners work all day to keep the prison running, so that taxpayer money didn't have to go to paying civilian employees. Outside of prisons you have to work to feed yourself, why not inside the prison?

I'm not saying we should torture anyone or be inhumane. But the fact that prisoners are complaining about not having a deluxe cable package is insanely frivolous. Read a book. Learn a skill. Start a therapy group. Take the offered GED classes. Play cards. Think about what you did wrong and how you'll rectify it at the end of your sentence.

Another version of the dream

I've been thinking a lot about Martin Luther King, Jr. in my last four nights of insomnia. Partly because of the long weekend I got to take advantage of, and partly because his actions as a civil rights leader continue to challenge the way society is structured.

But how can we, as a nation, observe MLK day and pat ourselves on the back for being so accepting and open when we are blatantly denying gay members of society basic rights?

This issue is staring us in the face, asking us to make monumental steps toward something great, the way that King did. And somehow, even after witnessing so many eras of discrimination - women's suffrage, the Holocaust, civil rights - we shoo it away. Are we blind? Have we not grown enough as a society to recognize our mistakes repeating themselves?

There are other issues that I am passionate about, and for each of those I can understand the other point of view. Giving gays equal rights is one issue that I absolutely cannot understand the opposition to. I honest-to-god have yet to hear a legitimate counterargument to this issue.

My parents once brought up the point of gay marriage being a fiscal burden on society. I don't really understand why it would be, but I'm not all that fiscally savvy at this point. What I do know, is that gays pay taxes, too. And if we're willing to carve out a piece of society and say "even though you pay for others to have this right...it's not for you" then we are doing something wrong. And we shouldn't be giving married couples tax breaks when we keep the right of marriage away from tax-paying gays who are forced to be "single" under the law.

If your argument has anything to do with the Bible, that can be easily dismissed by the notion of church and state, recognizing the true sin of Sodom was rape and inhospitality, and accepting that "abomination" mentioned in Leviticus derives from a Greek word more closely translated to "taboo." And, I mean honestly, have you read the story of David and Jonathan? They were more than friends.

And if we are so willing to dismiss gays, then we are not entitled to enjoy Swan Lake, West Side Story, the Sistine Chapel, or any other brilliant work done by someone gay. Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Hans Christian Andersen, Tennessee Williams, Ralph Waldo Emerson. They were gay. And they were great.

These are people. With beating hearts. They are not the "other" that we can dehumanize.

Homosexuality has been around forever. And it's not going anywhere. Gays are our neighbors and friends and possibly someday our children. Are you willing to cast the vote today that will restrict your child's rights tomorrow?

I am amazed by the ignorance that we bring to the polls and the willingness we have to vote against something that would affect our personal lives in absolutely no way. America cannot say it stands for equality when it only stands for equality sometimes for some people. Think twice before you vote, people. There should be no second class citizens. Not blacks, and not gays.

Right hand rings are a girl's best friend

People are getting engaged and it's freaking me out.

Yes, it's fun to stalk the engagement pictures and see who can come up with the cheesiest Scrabble configuration.

But I, for one, am not ready for anyone to put a ring on it. People get married at different times, and some people are apparently ready at 22. It works for some people. Some people are ready to settle down and promise forever to their counterpart.

I am not some people. Tis not for me.

Until May 2013, I am married to my desk. I am married to Carroll Hall. I am married to all 700 level classes that start with JOMC. And I am married to a piece of paper that will hopefully come floating my way after the next 18 months of borderline torture.

And as the selfish 22-year-old that I am, I am perfectly ok with that. I am enjoying the freedom of being able to move 400 miles away from anyone I know without looking back.

The second you say "I do" you are part of a whole. Any significant decision you make has to be seconded. These are a few of the things I know about marriage. But in the grand scheme of things, I know nothing about it. I don't know what it's like to have to pick up man panties day after day and I don't have Axe shower gel in my bathroom (though I should look into it cause it smells guuuud). Quite honestly, I really enjoy being alone and having my own space. I enjoy being selfish and ambitious without anything holding me back. Not to say spouses hold you back because I'm sure they can be supportive and warm and fuzzy.

The point is, I'm not getting married anytime soon. So to people looking at me, that think dating someone for a few years automatically means imminent engagement, you will be sorely disappointed.

This includes my grandfather. He relished in my graduation, completing his dream of seeing all seven of his grandchildren graduate college. My fear is that he hopes to see all seven of his grandchildren get married. That being said, if he holds off for that, I may be solely responsible for him living for another 10 or 15 years. My unwillingness to commit makes me godly like that.

But hark! I have a scapegoat. My cousin David is four years older than I am and he is neither married nor engaged. So when my grandfather starts hinting that I look good in white, my first response will be that I'm just waiting my turn, so when David gets married I'll follow suit. On account of not being rude and cutting in line.

So far, this is my most logical and least expletive response.

If that fails, I will tell him I'm still exploring my sexuality and am considering the option of a civil union with Jodi Picoult. That, or that I have a great-grandchild on the way for him and don't want to be pregnant in my wedding dress. Or all of the above, just for fun.

A note.

Dear bicyclists,

You all suck.

I've never liked you. Maybe when you're normal citizens, yes. But as soon as you get on your little two-wheeled demons, I lose all respect for you.

There is a reason you learn to ride a bike when you're 5. Because you're supposed to get it out of your system by the time you turn 10. By the time you go to college, you should have totally forgotten what a bike is.

I thought the bicyclists were bad at UGA, but my mind has been blown by the outrageousness of UNC riders.

For some reason, you bikers seem to think you should have first dibs on streets, bike lanes AND sidewalks.

You are supposed to stick to the street. It's the law. They even put a bike lane IN the street, so that you don't get pancaked. But you insist on trying as hard as you can to get pancaked anyway.

You don't wear helmets, you run red lights, and you don't stop at crosswalks.

Do you not realize you are quite vulnerable, and, in a fight, my odds are always on the bus? They have those flat fronts to make sure you have the pancake-look you so desire. None of this rolling over the hood stuff. I would even put my odds on an athlete's scooter over you - the first time a scooter has ever seen a mention of my odds. You would still lose.

As for being on sidewalks...what the heck, kids?

All I'm tryna do is get to Carroll Hall. You're on the sidewalks, whizzing past me like I'm in your way.

It is a SIDEWALK. Meant for PEDESTRIANS. Do not look at me outraged when I "get in your way."

You are a silent demon, lurking in the shadows of campus, just waiting for me to look away from you so that you can speed past me and make me pee a little in fear of my life.

Can I just walk to the bus in peace, please?

Regards,

Every campus pedestrian ever

Organically yours

Continuing on the fact that (all but one of) the people in my program are miles more liberal than I am, I have been given so much crap about what I eat.

Now, for those that are informed of my testy digestive system, you know that there are many foods that I can't eat and keep down. So when I find something that I can eat without worry, I stick to it.

Recently my diet consists of bread, carbs, raw vegetables, Lean Cuisines, english muffins, cream cheese, carbs, bananas, chicken, carbs and sweets.

Now, I recognize that it's not the most balanced diet. But it keeps me from upchucking in class, so my classmates should be thanking me.

One day when discussing what I microwaved myself for dinner the previous night, I got a lecture about how terrible Lean Cuisines are for me, and was offered to have someone list out all the preservatives in them.

These people I'm talking about make their own peanut butter, brew their own tea (to drink from a mason jar because plastic is bad), and grow a billion different spices on their apartment porches. They also scoff at anything non-organic. Anything.

I get it. I do. Making fresh food is good for you. I can't cook, and I don't choose to learn. It seems like a waste of time to me and if I'm going to take time out of my day to do something, it's not going to be for cooking. So sue me.

I'm not eating Big Macs for every meal, and considering the limits of my diet, I try to eat decently healthy.

Also. I'm a good person. I'm working on my third degree. I'm going to contribute to society and pay for my own healthcare. So what I choose to put in my body is of no concern to you.

Unless it is smoke and in that case feel free to bitch-slap me.

Point is, I have a decent amount of things going for me and at some point I just can't do it all. So one of the things I choose not to do...is cook.

But since I have been dubbed the young, irresponsible one of the group that doesn't cook for herself, I have decided to completely embrace it.

Conversation of the day with a guy who did the Peace Corps in Mozambique and eats seaweed for lunch (no, I'm not kidding):
-Dude says something about his French press
-Me: I drink instant.
-Dude: INSTANT COFFEE? That has to be so crappy. It's so processed. And it has so much less caffeine.
-Me: I like to drink decaf anyway so it doesn't really matter. Plus I know nothing about coffee so it all tastes the same.
-Dude: DECAF INSTANT COFFEE!?!? I can't imagine how terrible that tastes.
-Me: It tastes pretty great if you add enough sugar and flavored creamer.
-Dude: **blank stare**

Hey, if you can't fight em, be obnoxious.

Changing tires and gender roles

Today I was driving to the bank and called up my dear friend Elizabeth to talk.

A few minutes into our conversation she determined that she had a flat tire. Naturally I asked where she was, since we were headed to about the same place, and I told her I was half a mile away and we could handle it.

As I pulled into the parking spot behind her, it was pretty evident that the tire was, in fact, flat. Now Bob likes cars and while I can't fix a transmission or replace a headlight, I've been known to jump cars and fill up my own windshield wiper fluid (extremely impressive and difficult, I know.) Point being, I've not exactly well versed, but I've been around cars a decent amount.

So I tell Elizabeth to get the jack out of the back of the car, I lay down on the pavement and start to jack it up. Naturally, the little photojournalist herself decided she needed to document my efforts.



A bit later a man and his college-aged son pull up next to us and ask if we need help. We say we're alright but they insist and proceed to take over.

Now as a disclaimer, they were both very nice and helpful.

But when they referred to us as "damsels in distress" I about choked, and had to place my hand over my mouth to keep any unkind words from escaping. We were not in distress, and anyone you ask will tell you I am far from a damsel.

At one point the older man said, "You know what's really phenomenal? You managed to get the jack in the right place!"

Blank stare.


So while they were helpful and kind, this brought about an issue that I've been discussing with my friends and family for the past few weeks: gender discrimination.

I have said in conversations over the past weeks that I have never felt hindered by my gender. My parents always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be, whether that was a dog or the president. I could do it. My mom never made us learn to cook because she didn't want us to think that we had to learn because we were girls. We were never interested, so we didn't learn.

My sisters are an attorney and an accountant/professor. And it never crossed my mind that, being women, they shouldn't be in those positions.

After thinking about it, a couple moments of gender discrimination in my life came to mind.

The summer after my junior year of high school I went to a mission trip to Gulfport, Miss. One day, while working with three other boys to drywall a house that had been damaged during Katrina, I experienced an instance of discrimination.

One of the twenty-something volunteers in our group held one end of a 12-foot piece of drywall, and I held the other. We walked it across the living room, but before putting it down on the ground to then drill it in place, the floor needed to be cleared. Two other boys were standing in the room with us, waiting for us to put down the piece to drill. Basically, they were doing nothing.

The guy on the other end of the drywall looked at me and said, "This needs to be cleared- grab the broom and sweep it up."

I was doing the same job he was. I was holding half the weight of the drywall. The other two boys were doing NOTHING. And I was supposed to do the sweeping?

I opened my mouth and took a deep breath, but before I could say what was really on my mind, one of the other two boys read my mind and said, "I'VE GOT IT!" The culprit had previously shown his chauvinistic self so I knew I wasn't reading into anything, and the other two boys agreed later.

And story number two (or three, but who's counting): The other day the girls in the house next to ours needed jumper cables. One of their boyfriends knocked on my door to see if I had any. I did, and I offered them to him. As I handed them to him I said, "Do you know how to use them?" Which was met with a look of disgust and a "Uhhh....yea." How was I supposed to know? Tons of people don't know how to jump a car.

According to Law.com, in 2005, women accounted for 30% of all lawyers and 32% of all physicians and surgeons. And the numbers are on the rise.

The term "feminist" has a lot of negative connotation to it, but in the sense that we should be exactly equal to men, I recognize with the term.

This is when men like to say, "Then don't expect me to hold the door for you or pay for your dinner." That's fine. For dates: whoever asks, pays. And I open doors for people multiple times a day. Not because of my genitalia, but because it's respectful. I don't need a kiss on the cheek, I'll shake your hand. I don't need someone to lay their coat down over a puddle for me. Lord knows I'm not wearing expensive shoes that I'm afraid to get wet.

In a week and a half I'll have two degrees "handed" to me. Every night studying, every test taken, every article written- I did it. I had men in my classes, and I had women in my classes. Same classes, same tests, same articles. If some day I'm paid less than the man next to me doing the exact same job I will have some choice words to say.

I understand maternity leave adds in another factor, but I wonder how many men could give birth, much less bear responsible, productive citizens of society. Early on, women were made out to be useful for reproductive purposes, and not much else. With the rise of women's education and liberation, I wonder how long it will be til men are reduced to being useful for only manual labor and opening pickle jars.

Consecration and condemnation

This morning I took the test of all tests in my Modern Christian Theology class.

Tuesday I left the same class furious.

As a disclaimer, I understand that every religion, ethnic group and country has its history. This class just happens to be about Christian history.

I've been known to interpret the Bible differently than other people, but to me it seems like Christ's idea for what is now Christianity has not exactly come to fruition.

Not only did the early church add in things like the papacy (based on Peter?), they then held the First Vatican Council and declared him infallible. But that's another story for another day.

If there is one thing that I've learned in this class, it's that religion in fact falls into a category along side ethnic groups and nations. There are hierarchies, there are wars, and there are way too many cases of mistreating their own.

In terms of explaining wars, the term "crusades" should suffice.

The hierarchies of the church are prevalent but not always scripturally based. I can perhaps credit my Protestant upbringing with my idea that a religion should be based on the scripture and words of the holy figure. In realizing that other sects and religions focus more strongly on tradition, the idea of a hierarchy is more accepted. So for the most part we'll leave the hierarchy alone. (I never did understand why another man would need to be the liaison between God and me though.)

So now we've come to mistreating their own.

Again, it is my belief that we all have the same God. So the Turks taking over Constantinople and forcing Islam is almost as baffling to me as Christians killing each other.

Almost.

Let's explore.

-In the 16th century Michael Servetus thought that maybe Catholics shouldn't emphasize the trinity when trying to convert people because it didn't make sense to Jews and Muslims. So he was burned at the stake.
- Henry VIII wanted to get divorced from his barren wife so that he could have an heir with another woman so he started the Anglican church. Then he killed a bunch of Catholics and Lutherans.
- Thomas Cranmer was forced to denounce Protestantism under torture from Queen Mary and then later was executed anyway.
- In 1864 Pope Pius IX issued the Syllabus of Errors that listed 80 things that non-Catholics believed. All of which were condemned by the Catholic church.
- During the French Revolution, anyone who thought that the pope didn't have absolute authority in every nation was killed, including Gallicans, Febronians, and Josephists.
- Even as recent as 1907, Pope Pius X issued lamentabili, a doctrine listing 67 modernist propositions that were condemned.
- In Russian Orthodoxy, the people that didn't agree with reforms, Old Believers or Slavophiles, were then condemned and all killed. Most of them didn't want to be killed though so they committed suicide by lighting themselves on fire.

The list goes on forever. Add in the crusades and the inquisitions and you have a real good time.

Point being, the church has a dirty history.

I can't help but think that if everyone that associated with any church learned this history, they would question their allegiance.

So this is the question: Does declaring loyalty to a denomination or Christianity in general require the acceptance or condonation of its past?

I hope not. And I think not.

The majority of the Christians I know, and dare I say Christians in the world, do not understand the extent that the early church went to in order to "protect" its beliefs and truths. When singing "Jesus Loves Me" and telling stories of the good Samaritan, somehow the bloody past of the religion gets left out.

To me, not knowing about the history does not make them less Christian. I think it's important to question and understand what you are in fact insinuating by stating, "I am a Baptist/Unitarian/Catholic, etc." I also think that people who really question their beliefs and go on a spiritual journey to find the best religion, pick the teachings that speak to them and bring them peace.

The idea of God in a man brings comfort to people, and Jesus brought a lot of hope and peace with him, regardless of his actual divinity. I think it's absolutely acceptable to take that peace and hope for what it is, and leave the church's actions in the past.

I do not think, however, that is is acceptable to take the path of least resistance and blindly choose whatever denomination/religion was chosen for you by your family or society. Discover what's best for you on your own. And if at the end of the day what really does it for you happens to be the same thing that does it for your family, too— then more power to you.

That being said, I think Christians, and people in general, can learn a lesson from the abundant condemnation done by the church already, and think twice before judging others. Originally the papacy may have been thought of as heresy and here the Catholics are with Pope Benedict XVI, number 265.

Society changes. And the church changes with it. Second Vatican Council, anyone?

The basics of Christianity are to love God and love one another. I don't exactly know where "kill those who disagree with you on any issue" is in the Bible, but I haven't quite read it all.

Organized religion is what you make it. As is any form of spirituality. But in labeling yourself as a specific religion or denomination, history comes with it. I hope the free-thinking society we live in today feels welcome to doubt and question the intentions and corruption of any denomination.

But if that denomination is what floats your boat and brings you peace, then don't hold back from pursuing it. Just be aware of the past.

No news is good news

Journalism has power.

It has the power to unify a nation behind a cause (9/11), uncover the ugly side of a war (Vietnam), dissolve a presidency (Nixon), and now, bring attention to someone who shouldn't have it.

Last summer, Florida pastor Terry Jones announced he was going to burn a copy of the Qur'an on the anniversary of Sept. 11.

In a tweet.

He started a Facebook group for International Burn a Qur'an Day and claimed it was a book "full of lies."

And the news, stupidly, covered it.

The man is, excuse my language, a dumbass. His church, the Dove World Outreach Center, includes just 50 families. He calls himself a man of god sticking up for Christianity and carrying out the will of god. He seems to have forgotten that we all have the same god. Even if you don't believe in one universal spirit, Islam and Christianity are both Abrahamic religions so they have virtually the same base.

In a time when we're at war, particularly with people of this race and religion, this man decided to stir the pot even more. Again, dumbass.

After worldwide protests and an absurd amount of meetings and negotiations, Jones finally decided to withhold from burning the book.

On Sept. 11, Jones said on the Today Show that his church would never burn a Qur'an.

He lied.

On March 20, he burned a Qur'an live on the Internet. And the news, smartly, didn't cover it. Unfortunately for pretty much everyone, it was already out there, and it was the video seen 'round the world.

Thanks to this extremist dumbnut, violent riots have broken out in Afghanistan, among other countries, where so far 20 people have been killed, seven of which were UN workers.

Twenty people are DEAD because of riots sparked by this man that so ironically calls himself a pastor.

So here's the issue. Is this man, who decided he was going to burn a book, news? Someone originally thought he was, and the story caught on. Unfortunately, people were then interested in him and he gained the attention he craved. The news gave that to him.

I think now, considering the backlash, the media understands that it may have been a mistake to cover this crazed man in the first place.

Also, when 9/11 happened, Americans had to accept that the attackers were extremists, and not typical Muslims; that the terrorists were under the power of bin Laden, and not acting in a way that would represent the general views of Islam.

Now, when the tables have turned, are people abroad accepting that Jones is an extremist, and not an average American or Christian?

I do realize that the two incidents are extremely different, and thousands were killed in 2001, while it was "just a book" that was sacrificed in March. I also realize that it has taken 10 years for Americans to even somewhat accept Islam.

Even furthur, I recognize the irony in the fact that I am giving Terry Jones even more attention. Hopefully the profound amount of people that read my blog are connected to neither Jones nor violent protesters in the Middle East.

The point is, journalism can do good. It can also cause unrest. In order to keep journalistic credibility, all news has to be covered. This one, however, I believe could have gone unreported.

I'm headed to UNC-Chapel Hill next year to continue my study of journalism, and I'm excited for the opportunity to do something with my writing someday. Hopefully causing more good than unrest.



In my Newspaper Management class yesterday we reviewed this article written by my professor. It's similar to what I wrote, just with years and years of journalistic experience behind it.

Also, most of this information came from the Chicago Tribune, mostly this article.

Hell or Higher Power

My roommate Meagan doesn't think I'm going to hell.

Now, this may seem like a normal thing for friends to think about each other, but Meagan was born, raised and schooled pretty conservatively Christian.

As I've learned and grown in my beliefs, it's very clear that I don't recognize with any one organized religion. One of my favorite quotes of all time is C.K. Chesterton: "Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair." And that's what it is to me.

Point being, a large majority of my friends are strong Christians, many of whom even went to Christian high schools. And I love to discuss religion with them, hence my major. I'll talk to anyone about it.

But I learned early on that not everyone is receptive to non-traditional beliefs. I've been called a heathen, told I'm going to hell, asked if I was kidding when I said I wasn't Christian, and even received a 12-page letter from a good friend of mine explaining why God disapproves of my beliefs and choices.

Now for the SparkNotes version, I believe in God. God and I hang out. We're besties. I think pretty much everything can be contributed to God so the details don't really concern me.

That being said, I talk to my roommates and some friends about God openly, and it's evident to them that God and I have a relationship.

Meagan and I had a long talk the other day. After being taught her whole life that Jesus is the only way to heaven, she's confused as to what's going to happen to me. I've never been too concerned about it, I'll trust that God knows what he's doing.

Plus, there's no point worrying about the afterlife cause we're not going to know if we're right til we die. And then we're dead. Or in hell. Or heaven. Or purgatory. Or swimming around in a giant midnight truffle blizzard from DQ.

Anyways, Meagan (and a lot of my friends) aren't used to questioning the beliefs they grew up with.

If there is one thing that I have constantly been taught and put into practice, it's to question. Question everything. My parents always taught me that sometimes the teacher ISN'T right. And that no one actually knows all the answers. Yes, even them. This was never an excuse to be rude to anyone, but I was always pushed to question.

In my mind, there is nothing more important to question than religion. It is the core of billions of people, shapes cultures and is used as a scapegoat for war. It is a huge part of the reason homosexuality has such a stigma, and it causes unnecessary rifts between people that could otherwise learn from each other.

I've learned that many people don't understand the texts they're taught to live by and that many people haven't actually studied any other religion but their own.

Now, this isn't meant to be a rap on religion in general. If someone has studied and thought deeply about everything they've been taught, and at the end of the day honestly believes in the truth of it, then more power to them. I'm not saying I'm right and I'm not saying anyone else is wrong. Because, quite frankly, how are we gonna prove it?

All I know, is I believe what I believe because I've questioned every aspect of it, and what I'm left with is what I can't shake. Things that I haven't lost faith in after four years of religion classes.

I believe my God wants me to question everything. He wants me to get angry, ask why, feel lost, and at the end of the day, come back to him and say, "Yea, you were right."

Now I'm in no way an expert on anything religion. Not sure anyone really is. But if I have one piece of advice that I can offer, it's to question. If anything, it'll make you stronger in the things you really believe, and I promise you won't be left empty handed.

UGAmateurs

On Monday the UGAtheists held "Stone a Heathen Day" at our public forum in the middle of campus, Tate Plaza. They put up posters with quotes from the Bible about when you should stone someone, had a boy stand in the middle of Tate Plaza holding a sign that said "Heathen! (Me)" with an arrow pointing to himself, and encouraged students passing through the plaza to throw "stones" (water balloons) at the heathen.



I'm not totally sure how I feel about this yet. There are tons of people that like to think of themselves as open to new cultures and ideas; who sympathetically act interested in the culture of a Buddhist classmate or pretend they aren't put off by a stranger's turban. Yet it is almost unspeakable in this Bible belt of ours to identify as an atheist.

Randall Bourquin, president of the UGAtheists, is extremely involved on campus. He was an orientation leader (an incredible honor), is in a fraternity and is known across campus. When I showed people that video I couldn't help but feel their attitudes change towards him. He states in this interview that it isn't easy being an atheist in a community such as UGA. And I'm sure it isn't. People's reactions when you simply say you aren't a Christian mix between turnt-up noses and pity that the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ hasn't "saved" you yet. Oh, but he will.

So I think we should face atheism with open minds and consider it just another religion. Or...antireligion. In my mind, I'm not going to discriminate against any other theological beliefs because there is absolutely no way to prove it. If there were, we'd all be on the same page. We won't know until we're dead and then what? We're dead. So let's treat eachother with a little respect.

That being said. I think the UGAtheists pretty much just made themselves look foolish. They weren't expressing their beliefs, they were instead putting down other religions' beliefs. They aimed towards Christianity but the quotes they used about stoning came from the Old Testament, hence Judaism. They obviously did their research. Plus, it's just an international rule that Leviticus is a bunch of bologna.

If the UGAtheists were trying to prove a point that they should be excepted as having just another system beliefs, they approached it the wrong way. Putting down Islam doesn't prove a point for Christianity, just as putting down Christianity/Judaism doesn't prove that we should all be atheists. I think it's safe to say that all religions have completely bewildering parts about them. Including atheism. They could have built themselves up by having pamphlets and a table describing their beliefs but instead they made a giant step backward and have probably lost any hope of being accepted at this Bible belt university.

Snacks on the go

So it's back to school time and sitting through my classes has reminded me of something I meant to list out all last year.

Foods you shouldn't eat in class. All from personal experience.

Oranges. I decided to bring an orange to class one day and not only is it a messy fruit to peel, you get that shimmery film all over your hands which makes it dang near impossible to take any legible notes.

Chips. Could you choose a louder snack? A kid in one of my classes brought sun chips to our small class of 16 and did that thing where you try to open the bag slowly so it doesn't make a loud noise all at once but ends up just crinkling and crunching way longer than necessary. Just put the bag out of it's misery and open all at once.

Which leads us to pretzels. Like chips, it's possibly one of the loudest foods to eat. Plus you get crumbles all over yourself.

Trying to avoid crumbs? Maybe you'll eat an apple. On second thought, don't. It's a whole nother classification of loud foods. Instead of the crinkling of the bag, you get the loud slurping bites out of an apple. You'll probably forget to bring a napkin and end up drooling on yourself a little.

Last but not least, takeout. You'd think this one would be implied by the fact that it's an entire meal in a box, but I've seen it happen. You've got your loud styrofoam container with your plastic fork and it wouldn't be a big deal except that more than likely you will smell up the entire room. Which will either repulse your classmates or leave them thinking about lunch for the next 75 minutes.

When picking a snack for class, choose wisely.

Doggone dead.

An article published in the UGA Red and Black the other day gave a profile on a 23-year-old student who had just been arrested for the fourth time.

First off, that's not normal. After the first time you should give yourself a firm slap on the wrist. After the second time you should reconstruct your list of priorities. After the third time you should probably just lock yourself away.

So the last three offenses had to do with drunk driving, swerving, etc. Somewhat normal things. Her first offense, however, was for killing 7 puppies and leaving them in a box (with her address on it) behind a gas station.

WHO THE HELL KILLS PUPPIES!?

Like of all things people want to do to puppies (cuddle, kiss, walk, name) you chose to KILL them? Pretty sure that's a guaranteed ticket to hell. Pretty sure she'll be offered an executive position in hell.

Here's the article.